Mom's Day
Mother.
Her words. Her voice. The food she makes us for special occasions that defines 'special occasion' because of her cooking (or lack of it). As a child we thought she could sing with the angels. Now we know better. The way she smells. The fact that she knows all the important stuff about us and can recall our most embarrassing moments at the most inconvenient of times. The way she folds bath towels, and the things she collects. The words she used to say to us when we swear that, "I'll NEVER say that to my kids!" And we do. Her side of the bed. Her shoes. Her favorite color. The way she always loves what we get her for her birthdays or Christmas and acts as if our present to her is what she was secretly hoping for even though it can't possibly be true. The things she saved from our childhood. The way she is always there for us. Her judgment of us. And the way she overlooks our shortcomings. Her hands. The way she always made 'it' better. The 'look' that can stop us in our tracks. The way she holds us when we need it most. Her tears. Her smile.
Mother.
The word brings many different emotions for most of us. Mothers are all different; yet we are the same in many ways. Asked to define what a 'Mother' is, many will result to describing traits that they recognize in their own Moms. A Race Mom has some special qualities that we all share. I am not saying that a 'Non-Race Mom' doesn't share these qualities, only that they are emphasized with our special breed of Mothers.
I know that describing your Mom is difficult. It's like defining the word 'Quality.' You know what it is when you see it, but it is hard to put a label on. What I had hoped to do as a special little thing for Race Moms everywhere and for potential Race Moms as well as those brand new Race Moms, is get a feeling from some of my colleagues as to what they felt were the necessary skills or traits to be a Race Mom.
What I have found is that it doesn't matter whether you are the Race Mom of our current National Champion, Tim Farr, or the Race Mom of one of our brand new racers. We are all made of the same stuff.
Lisa Spurling, mom of DJ is a recent Race Mom. DJ has been racing the nationals for the last two years, and having some respectable finishes. This year he is running the 90 Limited (8-15 years) and the 70 Modified (6-11 year old) classes. According to Lisa some of the challenges that she faces is the fact that she gets pretty worked up before the races. She is actually planning on installing a tape recorder in the trailer and setting it to record DJ's race (with our wonderful announcer Mark Strabanger's extra special blow by blow narrative of the race). This way she can edit the screaming and other sound effects out and actually let other people watch their home videos without hitting the 'Mute' button. Lisa says that she feels that a strong faith in God and patience are two of the most important attributes that she uses every race. I might add that, for the parent of a youth rider, apparently a pair of good running shoes would be an added bonus (that's Lisa racing along the fence line in the white hat and jeans).
DJ says, "I can't take the race video anywhere because Mom is screaming 'GO' the entire time," he adds, "My favorite part of having my Mom at the races is she is there to cheer me on and mostly to watch me." According to DJ, he thinks that Lisa "get's a kick" out of watching him race. I think that DJ is pretty perceptive.
Kim Bres, mom of 20 year old Justin, has been subjected to Race Mom Itis for the past four years. Justin is currently riding in the Open Pro-Am class. Kim feels that it is getting harder the longer he races. At the districts where he started she found herself extremely nervous but it got better. Now that he is on the National Circuit she finds it much harder to watch. The speed and caliber of the riders is much higher at the Nationals. Kim says that she seemed to calm down at the districts, she adds, "I used to go all day without eating because it made me sick to my stomach." The attributes that she uses the most as a Race Mom are a strong stomach, good nerves and hard fingernails. Kim feels that the most important thing you can do is to be there to support your rider. Kim adds that she prays every single race that everyone comes out of the race unhurt. Justin likes the way his mom cooks for him and the fact that she is always there for him.
Darla Attix has been following 21 year old Gilbert for the last five years at the National level. Gil began dragging his Mom to races when he was just 13 years old. Darla says that over the years it has gotten a lot easier to watch. Part of the reason is that Gil has become more of a consistent rider. Currently he is running the Open Pro-Am and the 250 Pro-Am classes. Her best advice for another Race Mom is, "Just let them do it if that is where their interest is." Darla knows that she uses all her patience, strength and her support of her rider every day he is on the bike. She adds that her 'heart is just in your throat when they are out there.' She says that she supports her rider whole heartedly but 'it's hard because you want to be there for them, but in your heart you sometimes are saying please let's just stop this, but you have to let them do it.' Gilbert says that the thing that he most appreciates about his Mom at the races is that she comes to all of the races, and she supports him whether he is 'dead last or on the checkers, she supports me.'
Penny Dunkelberger (with Taffy), has been a Race Mom since her son Jason was 15 years old. He is currently riding the Pro-Production and the 250 Pro class. She feels that it is most important to simply be there for your rider and be supportive for them no matter what they do (race wise). She adds, "A strong heart, patience and a lot of understanding" are vital elements for a mother of a racer. Jason says that his mom "Supports me 100% and she is always here and all the little things she does adds up to a real big thing."
Ruth Farr is the Mom of our current National Champion, Tim Farr. She has been doing this for over 16 years. Ruth's best advice is "Support them and pray for them. Trust that he knows what he is doing." She adds that a Race Mom needs, "Faith: in God and in your rider, and the people that make up his support team." She says you will need a sense of humor and a willingness to be friendly and meet other people and support all other racers. Ruth says, "I used to stand by the fence at the starting line and have a wave of pain that went through my body, that I would think to myself, 'Why am I letting him do this?' Then I realized that it was his sport and he was good at it. I am much more at ease these days with him in the Pro Class." Tim agrees that his Mom has changed a lot over the years. "She used to freak out; she used to be pretty bad but she is real good now!" Tim appreciates his Mom being there to support him. He adds that his parents live two hours away from him and his wife Julie, and they go to all of his races. He likes to spend time with them at the races since they live so far away.
Sally Wimmer and her son Dustin have been on the nationals for the last three years. 20 year old Dustin is riding the 250A and the 250 Pro-Am classes. She thinks that a Race Mom needs to work on not being to 'Motherly' at the races. She tries to stay calm and be there for her son to support him. Dustin likes the way that his mom supports him and feels that she is a vital part of his race program by keeping his gear ready and clean and detailing his bike.
Nikki Butterbaugh's mom and Nikki, have been on the nationals for the last two years in the 90 Limited class. She says that you have to love your kids and let them go at their own pace. You have to have courage to let your child race and strength to cheer them on. Nikki likes the way that her mom supports her and the things she does to make her bike run good and make her look good as a rider.
Jeremiah Jones' mom, Brenda, is a fixture at all the races. I can't remember a time that she wasn't there. She said that Faith in God and faith in your son, Love and Patience are the traits she uses the most. Her best advice is to be there at all the races so that you can support your son or daughter and can be there for when things go right or when things go wrong. Jeremiah was worried what his Mom said. He laughed and then said the he most appreciated how his mom keeps him and his dad, Jimmy, organized. He also said that anything that his dad or he didn't get taken care of , Brenda will jump in and finish up.
Matt White is in his first Pro year and mom Kathy, says that she is a great believer in prayer. She prays before every race that the everyone is safe and their machinery stays intact. She feels that courage (which she feels is one of her largest challenges: "I still get jittery.") is one of the most important traits a Race Mom needs. Love for this sport (especially the weather: she was interviewed in a snowstorm), and strength of character are very important traits for a Race Mom. Matt adds that his mom "Helps with everything."
Linda Mitchell's seventeen year old son Nick races the 16-24 class. She says that a Faith in God and your rider, strength, and Trust that your rider knows what he is doing are the vital for a Race Mom. She says that it has gotten much harder to watch Nick race. Nick thinks that his Mom is a 'Good Sport.'
Michele Hetrick says that her son Joel is ten going on 15 years old. He has been racing since he was five, and this is his second year on nationals. She thinks that you have to be strong. have patience, especially if your rider is young, make sure he is as safe as he can be, and you will need Hope. Joel likes the way his mom helps him with stuff like getting ready to race.
Patty Beam supports her nineteen year old son Matthew who is racing he 4 Stroke C class. It is Matthew's fourth year on the nationals. She says be as supportive as you can be and pray often. Patience, Love and support are the attributes that she most often needs as a Race Mom. Matthew loves the fact that she helps him out so much including helping as a mechanic!
Nancy Natalie has been head racing cheerleader for her son John since he began his career at twelve years old. She says you have to "put your faith in God that he will watch over them, that if is something that he loves to do, God will watch over him." She says to support him, and back him in what he wants to do. And she adds, "Be there if he needs you and just love him." John says that thing he most appreciates about his mom is that she is his best cheerleader.
Debbie Heatherley is always around with a smile and usually not to far away from 19 year old Wesley. Wesley has just moved up to the 4 Stroke B class and Debbie says it's important to be involved and to be dedicated and to love your rider. 'Just be there for him,' she adds. She says that my questions had left her speechless and her mind had went totally blank (not uncommon for most of the Mom's I interviewed for this story), but for Debbie to be blank! Well, you have to know Debbie! Just kidding you Debbie! Debbie was looking for the 'just right' words and I think she found them: "I need the confidence in myself that I can show him the way to be confident in himself and the love and courage to follow through." Well said. Wesley says that it really makes a difference for him that his Mom is there to make sure he is alright every time he comes off the track.
Sheri Luburgh says that going to all the races and being supportive of her son Jason is what she finds the most important. She adds that being flexible, willing to travel and being able to follow along with the plans are also very important. Jason appreciates his mom always getting his goggles ready and having water for him.
I sometimes wonder why we all do this. Especially when we hear of injuries or worse on and off the track. I sometimes feel alone in my worries, but after talking to these other ladies, I know that I have sisters out there who live my life. I also know that we are not in this alone, and the feelings of dread, joy and hope are all normal given the extreme set of rules that we go by in our Racing community. I would offer advice from my point of view, but I don't think you all need to hear my point of view on this, especially given the fact that the experts have already spoken and spoken well I might add. I know that the 'role' of Mother is sometimes a thankless job, and it doesn't really matter what our child does or doesn't do. Children don't come standard issue with an instruction book, but we somehow muddle through this thing known as 'Parenting.'
Sir Isacc Newton said, 'If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants'. We learn much of what we know from our Mothers. There is an Irish Proverb that says, "A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest." Our mothers teach us not out of a book, and not by any recognized criteria for higher education, but by love. I have also heard that the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws. I know this is must be true.
From Mom to Mom, Happy Mother's Day.
Mom
|
